this fellow posted something all commissioners should keep in mind.
"Things Commissioners Shouldn't Do
So I'm really, really tired of dealing with most commissioners. There are plenty of awesome and nice ones out there, of course! But there are a good lot of people who never really learned tact or any sort of social skills and then somehow got a hold of money and a head full of ideas.
Let's start with…
Please don't ever:
1) Beat around the bush - be frank in your desire, don't be a snake.
not many things are more annoying than PMing me or having some small talk with me for 5-10 minutes and then abruptly pretending you just remembered that you wanted to commission me, or wanting to check on if I'm gonna do your picture or not. Just don't do this. Be direct. You don't have to be weird to be direct. It's really easy to go, "so, I was wondering, do you think you'd have time for a commission?" or "hey could you tell me how far you've gotten on it if you've started yet?" — it doesn't have to be a whole little fake fucking dance where you pretend to give a shit about what's going on in their lives. Don't do that. Be frank, be forward, be understanding.
2) Act like you're "owed" anything - If you haven't paid yet, the other person needs to listen to exactly 0% of what you have to say.
If you have paid, being snippy, pissy and nasty could net you a bad reputation or get you a refund. If you're pushy, you'll get art of lesser quality. Please try to be as polite as you can. Don't assume anything, even if you haven't heard from the artist in a long time — sometimes shit happens, and they're trying to get their life under wraps. A lot of people take commissions on the side of other jobs, and so those are of lesser importance. It can be infuriating to commission someone who had a gigantic wait list, but then, don't be an idiot for commissioning someone who you haven't researched to see if they are at least reliable. (Not trying to say that's at all acceptable of the artist to have bad habits and not finish work, but you want to try and avoid those situations if you can!)
3) Try to use being friends as a gateway for commissioning more - this is the absolute quickest way to lose artists as potential friends.
I have shut people out of being friends with me because of this, and cut off friendships of days and months. If I can categorize you as someone who is more excited to get art from me than to talk with me, then we're not gonna be friends. This isn't even a bad thing or anything, but don't kid yourself into thinking you give a shit about the artist when the only thing on your mind when you see them is what you can get from them. We do not care, and would rather be away from people like that. It just makes you look like a pushy asshole.
4) Guilt them - Don't fucking do this. Ever.
I don't care if you're really poor, I don't care if your dad just died, I don't care what sort of horrible thing happened and why you now should get some stupid art of your stupid OC at a fraction of the cost and by next week. Don't fucking do this.
The most notorious example I can think of is when I was really tired and not feeling that good, and had been working on my college stuff and commissions, and then just wanted to sleep. And this "friend" came on and wanted to know if I'd be doing a personal drawing commission session with him, like I said I'd try to get to, and what do you know, I worked really hard and just didn't feel up to it by that time. It was a bunch of stupid furry fetish stuff for himself, so it wasn't like it was a gift I'd agreed to get done by a certain date or anything. And he bitched, and moaned, and whined about how he'd been looking forward to it all day, even though I'd told him I was tired and not feeling that great. Our friendship crumbled shortly after he visited and used the whole trip to try to siphon artwork from me. What a "friendship" indeed!
5) Be a persistent pest - This is a fantastic way to get ignored, and to shut yourself out from future commissions to that person.
You should always ask at the beginning "how often is OK to check up on the commission? I don't want to be a bother." Because you should not want to be a bother. Even if you're being perfectly reasonable, you ought to ask that question anyway. It also helps if you keep up to date on what the artist is up to to see if they're just way too busy during the time you want to ask. It's fine to ask, but try not to do it every time you see them, and try not to do it every other day. It varies per artist, which is why it helps to ask what the limit is for each person. I don't mind people asking every two weeks or so, but I do mind people asking every day. Communicate!
6) Be inconsiderate- Why do I even have to state this???
The artist might not even want to do your piece at all and is being nice by barely deciding to accept it. Try to match potential people you want to commission with the content you want to see. Even if there's an artist who will draw everything, they probably don't really like it. So being pushy, trying to get discounts etc. for your weird scat anthro whatever shit you're trying to commission, that's going to be really stressful on them. Especially if they're timid and shy. Which a lot of artists I know are. They won't know how to say no (which is something they need to learn), but I've even had a hard time saying no when someone's been pushy and tried to guilt etc etc etc… Try to fucking consider what the artist would like to draw, things they normally draw! Then you're actually more likely to see the artwork, it's more likely to be its best, and everyone will come out winning. Do NOT pester them while they're sick and working at a convention for a sketch after you've already gotten one from them. It becomes really fucking awkward to put them in a spot where it's hard to say no, and they won't want to talk to you again. Or draw for you again.
I know this last bit doesn't apply to everyone, but it applies to what I feel specifically. If I at all feel tension from you over not doing your commission, I will probably just refund you. Especially if I've had tons of fucking conventions that month, the previous month, and had lots of stuff to prepare for the group. I don't like taking on non-Pokemon (or pony) commissions because I do not at all care for them, in most all cases! I'd rather do art I can at least find fun. But, if for some reason, I don't get around to your sketch sheet after 2 months, telling me it's been frustrating when I keep thinking I'll be able to get around to it but just haven't yet for a ton of actual reasons that aren't just bullshit and that I've been posting about constantly… Well, I don't care! I'm perfectly happy to refund anyone at all for personal commissions. I do not care. I barely want to do them unless it's a subject I care about, which is why I mostly like doing commissions AS I OFFER THEM - because those are about experimenting, and I like doing those.
I'm sorry if this comes across as harsh, but also not really.
Don't ever feel like an artist should WANT to draw you things, or WANT to do your commission. We probably don't.
A lot of artists won't tell you this, but it's true. Not unless there's something out of it for us, whether it's boredom we're trying to kill, something we're trying to experiment with, or something that tickles our fancy. We're probably not excited about your commission. And if you've been kind of a jerk before, we especially won't wanna deal with you. So that's why you won't hear from us again."